Ep. 6: Fear - Part 1

In episode 6, Cheryl unpacks the topic that kept her stuck even after years of inner work. Cheryl speaks about the power of fear and the impact it can have if we allow it to do so.

In This Episode:

• Why Cheryl felt guilty for having big dreams, and what shifted that
• Growing up with money scarcity, and how this has shown up in adult life
• Why achieving the "successful" career didn't bring the fulfillment she expected
• Why our brain encourages us to remain in situations that are not always best for us.
• The realization about the misalignment between what the world has led us to believe and what is actually true
• A reflection question on what your most fulfilled life would look like, without limits

This is part 1 of a two-part episode. Part 2 continues in episode 7. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Welcome to Fire and Fairy Dust, The Long Way Back. My name is Cheryl Apple, and this episode is all about fear. I've always been a dreamer, but I often felt guilty or even ungrateful for having these dreams. I thought that having these dreams meant that I wasn't happy or grateful with the blessings that I already had in my life. At one point, I came across a personal development speaker and author, and began to pay a lot more attention to that part of my life. And the content and information that was being shared really, really resonated with me. And you might be asking, what does this have to do with fear? I'll get there, I promise. While learning about personal growth and development, I learned that it was never that I that what I had wasn't good enough. It was that I always wanted to keep growing and challenging myself and making sure that I was doing what I was what I came here to do. And so after learning this information, it felt validating because suddenly the drive that I always had, the one that nobody really, including myself, understood, the one that made me different from most of the people in my family, had a name. And the name wasn't greed, it was growth. I've learned that we can dream and be grateful for the blessings that we already have simultaneously. One desire doesn't remove or dismiss the gratitude that we have for what's already in our life. And so I started really reflecting on where I had been and where I wanted to go. And by the end of 2025, I was proud of the progress I had made, but I knew I wasn't done. I don't think we're ever really done. We're not supposed to be. But the life that I was living at that time didn't match the narrative because it felt like I was done. And so I had to really think about what's actually stopping me from changing my life. After years of therapy, of growth, of change, of inner work, what is still holding me back? What are the stories that I keep telling myself that are stopping me from chasing the life I want and chasing the life that I know I could have? But the hardest thing was that at that time I didn't even fully know what that looked like or what I fully wanted. I just knew that I wasn't done. And it came down to this one thing that keeps so many people scared and stuck. And it was money. I had grown up in a home where money was extremely scarce, and that meant that when you got money, you held onto it for dear life. Because with this mindset, you never know when more money is coming. And I know I'm not alone in that in growing up in that type of space. But out of all of the cognitive shifts that I've had to make or change, this has by far been the hardest. And I don't know that it's ever or will ever fully be completed. Because fear and doubt will always be a part of my life. It's how I respond to that fear and doubt that is actually changed. We are taught that money equals power. But I have learned that that is not true. We are also taught that money is scarce. But let me ask you this. Is money scarce, or is it that what we have, or is that what we have been taught to believe? Think about it though. If nobody had a scarcity mindset about money, then people would never stay in a job where they were treated poorly or underappreciated because they would know something else would come their way. The people in this world who count on that fear for their own success would be in a lot of trouble if others were not afraid to walk away from jobs that are not serving them. It would mean that all employees would need to be paid well and treated with respect, or they would leave. And the hierarchy that money has created would completely disappear. Imagine that. What would that look like? The fact is, the world is not running out of money or opportunities, and it never will. But the fear of not having enough money to pay to live, to pay for our children to live, to survive, the fear of not getting that job, the fear of missing work because we might get fired, it is powerful. But who does it actually serve? Money does not equal power. Fear does. And fear is the one thing that can take the most confident, powerful human and paralyze them within seconds if that fear has never been addressed. As I have mentioned in my previous episode, I spent a good chunk of my life pursuing good grades and education and a career that would allow me to make a decent wage and present myself as a professional and care for the child that I had hoped to have and now do have. The whole time I was pursuing this, I told myself when I got there, I would be fulfilled. I would be happy, I would be content with what I had accomplished. And when I finally had it, the career I thought would bring me happiness and make others love and accept me, I still felt empty. Nothing had changed because I didn't do the inner work to make it change. Now I want to be clear about one thing. I learned a lot about myself and the world and others during my time as a nurse. The clients I worked with will always hold a place in my heart because they are the part of the job that I enjoyed. We all deserve the chance to fully embrace and enjoy life in all areas, including career. But maybe what you love, what lights you up, has nothing to do with a career. And that's just as amazing. I'm not talking about one specific area of life for everyone. I'm speaking about my career because for me, what I am doing right now in this moment, speaking to you, is what lights me up. I'm just simply sharing how I got there. Because isn't asking someone to change or reduce anything about themselves also arrogant and kind of cruel? Don't ever keep yourself small to fit into a room or fit into a group that was never meant to hold you in the first place. We do that because we're scared that if we leave those situations, another one won't come along. And that's not true. We are all on our own journey. We don't get to shame others for the part of the journey that they are on. But we also don't deserve to be shamed for our journey either, right? It goes both ways. So why do others react so strongly and so negatively to these types of conversations? Even if you're not upset about the conversation, it kind of makes people uncomfortable, right? Why do we resist these types of conversations and these types of changes? Why, if a person is not hurting anyone, do others get so upset by the changes made in someone else's life? When we have the courage to be different, to take the path less traveled, to risk it all on what others see as a whim or something that is silly or doesn't make sense in any area of life, we remind people that they are fully capable of doing the exact same thing. We remind people that the only being that has the power and control to change anything is them. And that is terrifying to those who are not ready to hear it. And I know this because I've been on both sides of the equation. I have been the one doing the judging of other people, and I have been the one who's being judged. And neither is helpful to anyone. And that doesn't mean that we can't say or do the things that we want to do, as long as we're not hurting other humans. No major change, discovery, growth has ever come from staying safe inside the box that we've been told we live in. The scariest and most shocking thing for me was that the box doesn't actually lock. We can literally jump out anytime we want. But we don't because we've been taught not to wonder what's beyond the walls, or that what's beyond the walls is dangerous. We are familiar with the box and everything in it. And since our brain's number one priority is survival, it makes anything beyond that seem terrifying. Our brain is wired to choose a comfortable unhappiness over uncomfortable change every time. And so we stay in places, jobs, relationships, friendships, even when we are not happy. Because even though they don't feel good, they do feel familiar. And humans love comfort, me included. This journey has made me so grateful for those who have taken taken risks and have brought so much to our world because I now have just a little bit of an idea of how terrifying it is. And each path looks different, but no one path is more superior than the other. And I'm not saying that those who are not entrepreneurs are failing. This is not about showing up in a certain way. I'm saying to do what makes you happy, what makes you feel whole. And whatever that is, as long as it's not harming you or other living living beings, do that thing. The thing is, I'm not special, at least not in a way that makes me better than anyone else. I'm unique, so is everyone else. Every human has the choice to connect with their intuition and inner guidance and follow their purpose in life. Every human has the choice to connect with God, Spirit, the universe, whichever term you prefer to use, for guidance and support. The key word there though is choice. Because as humans, we're given free will that even the creator of the universe will not go against. Because if you don't ask, you're not giving consent. And free will is not to be messed with. But all you have to do is ask. Man, that pesky free will, right? It can be our greatest asset or our greatest enemy. So I ask you this. What does your most fulfilled life look like? If you were to allow yourself to dream, like fully dream without limitations, without consequence, what does it look like? And what is one tiny thing that you can do right now to get there? Knowing that information, making that simple step, that probably won't feel so simple. That's a good place to start. Thanks for listening.

SPEAKER_00 17:07

No change, no roof, just hearts that move, no limit stuff, just me and the pool.